Bible class is always the hardest.
Oh, and I know why too. *Someone* isn't happy with any focus on the Bible or on our relationship with God. And thus it increases my prayer life, not knowing what I'm going to talk about until Friday or Sunday! ;)
This last week, praying (again) for inspiration, especially after stumbling across a revealing Bible journal entry by one of my kids, I was impressed by a thought:
Story, Bri.
What story? I don't have stories.
Sure you do.
THOSE stories? Oh my kids love stories. They don't care what it's about either. The magic words "I'm going to tell you a story..." get them all quiet and staring rapturously, no matter how uninteresting the story itself might be. But...really God?
Those stories.
On my walk, I started thinking...God redeems everything. Every fall, every stumble, every pain and tear shed. And He has wired our hearts and souls for hearing stories. Even His Word is primarily stories. Perhaps story--our story--our testimony of His faithfulness--is the primary way He redeems the past.
So why should we be reluctant to tell, even though it may be raw and unpolished and stumbling? Why should I hesitate to share how He has worked and is working, even if it isn't "amazing"? Maybe, just maybe, the common everyday life stories of God's little and big providences are what we are missing.
Maybe, just maybe, some more of them should be told.
What's your story today?
What's mine?
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Thursday, September 17, 2015
IRL: Triumphs
There are days when I just love being a teacher.
Days when I go to church and get hugs from my kids and words of affirmation and encouragement from families.
Days when our Bible class is filled with questions and searching and going back to the Word for answers.
Days when my six kiddos are sprawled in the window seats reading their Bibles (for some of them, it's probably their first time having personal worship every day), and the sun streams in, and piano music floats in the background, and for a moment all is quiet.
Days when they get ridiculously excited about our lesson on a strong literary character.
Days when I bring a problem to them for class discussion and they solve it themselves (with a little help).
Days when I watch them get involved at church and my heart swells with joy as if I were their parent, not "just" their teacher.
Discouragement is one of my biggest setbacks--and it's something the devil throws at me almost daily. And so I hoard up these moments and days and look back on them.
Days when I go to church and get hugs from my kids and words of affirmation and encouragement from families.
Days when our Bible class is filled with questions and searching and going back to the Word for answers.
Days when my six kiddos are sprawled in the window seats reading their Bibles (for some of them, it's probably their first time having personal worship every day), and the sun streams in, and piano music floats in the background, and for a moment all is quiet.
Days when they get ridiculously excited about our lesson on a strong literary character.
Days when I bring a problem to them for class discussion and they solve it themselves (with a little help).
Days when I watch them get involved at church and my heart swells with joy as if I were their parent, not "just" their teacher.
Discouragement is one of my biggest setbacks--and it's something the devil throws at me almost daily. And so I hoard up these moments and days and look back on them.
"But I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High." (Ps. 77:10)
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Little Things
"Do you remember that Sabbath when we were all so tired--and we came to your house--and we made spaghetti and random tortilla things--and sat and talked--and played in the hammock?!"
"Do you remember that evening when we had that snow day and we all came over and had popcorn and hot chocolate and tea and talked?"
"Do you remember when we sat on the lawn and looked at the sunset?"
"Do you remember..."
Yes, I remember. How could I forget? Last semester I had the great privilege of becoming "mom"/"big sister"/"twin sister"/general-carer-for-of-people to a rather large group of college students. Many of whom I'm still in touch with, still their sister, still even called mommy on occasion. (All this, by the way, makes me ridiculously happy).
And I've noticed something. As we re-connect over the summer, and as I hear and recite with them the times most precious to us, we remember the big things--but it's the little things we really remember. The times when we felt heard and loved and we felt safe and cared for. The times when we looked another in the eye and said or just felt: "You too?!'
Those are the times we remember. And usually they were tiny times. Spur-of-the-moment thoughts. Words said that seemed to take no root at all. A quick invitation to a few friends. Popcorn and tea. But they are what sank in deep.
I'm increasingly convicted that we are not called to great things. We are called to a hundred tiny little things. God alone does great things. But He does them through our tiny actions.
May I do little things in His love.
"Don't look for big things; just do small things with great love. ...The smaller the thing, the greater must be our love." (Mother Teresa)
Monday, June 1, 2015
Oh, How He Loves
It's been a week full of joy and full of sorrow, for both of us. Full of the joy of serving, of giving unashamedly, of pouring into other lives. Full of sorrow from others' pain, of staggering under the hundred-ton weight of someone else's hurt. Sometimes second-hand sorrow is hardest to bear.
We share (much-abbreviated) prayer requests and though we laugh at each other and with each other, our hearts break for each other and for our friends. People I haven't even met set my heart throbbing, make me close my eyes as if to try to block out the agonizing reality of the darkness that has set itself against them. I ache to wrap my arms around each one, hold them tight, tell them You ARE loved. YOU are loved. HE loves you--and through the darkness, through the pain--He'll never, ever let you go.
And that night as I go home, half-reeling from the overwhelming need to be loved that resounds through the hearts of this broken, pain-throbbing world, I can't help but think, this must be a glimpse into the heart of God.
'Cause if I love these people so much--people I've never or only barely met--how much more must He love each one of them and each one of us--His children--when He knows so deeply and so intimately?
Wow.
"Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 Jn. 3:1)
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Other Side of Chivalry
"UGH!"
She stomps her foot and crosses her arms and scowls. Seventh-graders haven't yet mastered the art of the death glare, but they're getting close. Especially this one.
He looks at her with a crooked smile and doesn't say anything (he's smart). With an exaggerated sigh, she flings her arms to her sides petulantly and stomps . . . through the door.
He grins and waits for me to go through and closes it behind us.
"He's trying to be a gentleman, M," I smile; "let him do it."
And they say chivalry is dead. Girls say chivalry's dead. Are we the ones who've killed it?
I find this definition when I look up "chivalry": "the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak."
I don't think girls really mind courage or justice, or even honor--look at the popular movies and books and you know we like those things. But it's that "courtesy" thing, especially because courtesy ties precisely to the last item in that list: "a readiness to help the weak," that gets us.
God made people to be strong. He made guys to be strong. He made girls to be strong too. Look at the women in the Bible and you see strength all over the place. Eve, Deborah, Esther, Jael . . . these women are no pushovers. And we, as their daughters, want to be strong. We want to be the warrior princess of the story. And our culture pushes that even harder. Women must be "empowered"; we must be tough and strong and not give in to anything. Especially men.
We say this--we do this--partly because strength is built into us, and partly because we are afraid. The strength part is good. The fear part is not. Because fear always makes a fake hardness, a brittle china sort of toughness that isn't at all tough. Instead, it breaks and cuts.
What are we afraid of? It probably depends to a degree on the individual girl, but I'd say there's one thing that carries through us all: We are afraid of being hurt.
"But I'm not hurting you!" the poor guy protests. "I'm being nice to you!"
Yeah, you are. But you are also, even in one small way, making me dependent on another person. You. I'm depending on you to hold that door for 30 seconds and not let it smash back in my face. I'm depending on you to hand those fallen books back and not toss them away just to spite me. I'm depending on you to not cut in front of me in line. Little things, yeah, but I'm depending on you. And that is a terrifying place to be. Most girls have been let down enough little or big times (even by seventh grade) that we're gun-shy of any kind of dependence.
Maybe it's a scary place for you too, gentleman at the door. Maybe it's not. I don't know. But if you want to make it better, what do you do?
Keep doing what you're doing. Try to be patient. Try to be a little bit nicely stubborn--sometimes that's what it takes. But don't just be a gentleman when it comes to holding doors or picking up books or letting me go first in the potluck line. Be dependable other places too. Build my trust. I don't care if I'm not and never will be your girlfriend. We all need to build trust--you, and me, and my seventh- and eighth-graders, and all of us.
Girls? That's a whole different post. But try to see the true strength behind accepting courtesy. It takes a lot more strength to graciously accept an offer that makes you momentarily dependent on another, than it does to bull your way through alone. Remember that. And act on it.
If we want chivalry, we can't refuse it. If we want kindness, we can't put it down. If we want to be open and true with each other, we must move past that fear that cuts.
She stomps her foot and crosses her arms and scowls. Seventh-graders haven't yet mastered the art of the death glare, but they're getting close. Especially this one.
He looks at her with a crooked smile and doesn't say anything (he's smart). With an exaggerated sigh, she flings her arms to her sides petulantly and stomps . . . through the door.
He grins and waits for me to go through and closes it behind us.
"He's trying to be a gentleman, M," I smile; "let him do it."
And they say chivalry is dead. Girls say chivalry's dead. Are we the ones who've killed it?
I find this definition when I look up "chivalry": "the combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice, and a readiness to help the weak."
I don't think girls really mind courage or justice, or even honor--look at the popular movies and books and you know we like those things. But it's that "courtesy" thing, especially because courtesy ties precisely to the last item in that list: "a readiness to help the weak," that gets us.
God made people to be strong. He made guys to be strong. He made girls to be strong too. Look at the women in the Bible and you see strength all over the place. Eve, Deborah, Esther, Jael . . . these women are no pushovers. And we, as their daughters, want to be strong. We want to be the warrior princess of the story. And our culture pushes that even harder. Women must be "empowered"; we must be tough and strong and not give in to anything. Especially men.
We say this--we do this--partly because strength is built into us, and partly because we are afraid. The strength part is good. The fear part is not. Because fear always makes a fake hardness, a brittle china sort of toughness that isn't at all tough. Instead, it breaks and cuts.
What are we afraid of? It probably depends to a degree on the individual girl, but I'd say there's one thing that carries through us all: We are afraid of being hurt.
"But I'm not hurting you!" the poor guy protests. "I'm being nice to you!"
Yeah, you are. But you are also, even in one small way, making me dependent on another person. You. I'm depending on you to hold that door for 30 seconds and not let it smash back in my face. I'm depending on you to hand those fallen books back and not toss them away just to spite me. I'm depending on you to not cut in front of me in line. Little things, yeah, but I'm depending on you. And that is a terrifying place to be. Most girls have been let down enough little or big times (even by seventh grade) that we're gun-shy of any kind of dependence.
Maybe it's a scary place for you too, gentleman at the door. Maybe it's not. I don't know. But if you want to make it better, what do you do?
Keep doing what you're doing. Try to be patient. Try to be a little bit nicely stubborn--sometimes that's what it takes. But don't just be a gentleman when it comes to holding doors or picking up books or letting me go first in the potluck line. Be dependable other places too. Build my trust. I don't care if I'm not and never will be your girlfriend. We all need to build trust--you, and me, and my seventh- and eighth-graders, and all of us.
Girls? That's a whole different post. But try to see the true strength behind accepting courtesy. It takes a lot more strength to graciously accept an offer that makes you momentarily dependent on another, than it does to bull your way through alone. Remember that. And act on it.
If we want chivalry, we can't refuse it. If we want kindness, we can't put it down. If we want to be open and true with each other, we must move past that fear that cuts.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
How To Be a Teacher
...according to second grade:
--"But she's a STUDENT teacher."
--"Yeah...but she has a whistle!"
--"That's true...I guess she's a teacher too!"
Never-failing source of amusement right here. Love having the combination of older and younger kids--best of all the worlds! :)
--"But she's a STUDENT teacher."
--"Yeah...but she has a whistle!"
--"That's true...I guess she's a teacher too!"
Never-failing source of amusement right here. Love having the combination of older and younger kids--best of all the worlds! :)
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Still Here!
Well I have been MIA lately. I'll try to update more often! Maybe!
I'm keeping very very busy pretty much. Student teaching is going well. I only have two more weeks left after this coming one, for my current public school (5th grade) placement. Then I'll have a week off for spring break, before moving on to my seven-week private school placement. This current placement is a "co-teaching" setup, so I really don't have complete responsibility for the classroom, but I'm still learning a lot and it is a good experience.
So I am in school or driving to/from school from 8 to somewhere around 4:30 every day. Evenings are taking care of my horse and then usually just crashing. For an introvert, teaching can be very draining--for an idealist and connection-focused person, public school environments are even more draining. So I am trying to figure out how to "recharge" in those precious before-and-after school moments. It's still a work in progress. :)
Sabbaths are busy 9-9:30ish with church, friends, Bible work, and more friends--Sundays are lesson planning and usually something with more friends, unless (as on this weekend) they're sick! :( And this Monday we also have the day off for Presidents' Day, so I'm enjoying the long weekend. I anticipate a snow day sometime this week as well, but we'll have to see on that one!
I also interviewed for and accepted a job in a little one-teacher school in northeastern Tennessee, so I know where I'll be moving this summer! I'm very excited and can't wait to go up there over spring break to look for apartments and a place for my horse, and attend church with "my" new people! Lots of changes but it will be good. :)
I'm keeping very very busy pretty much. Student teaching is going well. I only have two more weeks left after this coming one, for my current public school (5th grade) placement. Then I'll have a week off for spring break, before moving on to my seven-week private school placement. This current placement is a "co-teaching" setup, so I really don't have complete responsibility for the classroom, but I'm still learning a lot and it is a good experience.
So I am in school or driving to/from school from 8 to somewhere around 4:30 every day. Evenings are taking care of my horse and then usually just crashing. For an introvert, teaching can be very draining--for an idealist and connection-focused person, public school environments are even more draining. So I am trying to figure out how to "recharge" in those precious before-and-after school moments. It's still a work in progress. :)
Sabbaths are busy 9-9:30ish with church, friends, Bible work, and more friends--Sundays are lesson planning and usually something with more friends, unless (as on this weekend) they're sick! :( And this Monday we also have the day off for Presidents' Day, so I'm enjoying the long weekend. I anticipate a snow day sometime this week as well, but we'll have to see on that one!
I also interviewed for and accepted a job in a little one-teacher school in northeastern Tennessee, so I know where I'll be moving this summer! I'm very excited and can't wait to go up there over spring break to look for apartments and a place for my horse, and attend church with "my" new people! Lots of changes but it will be good. :)
Sunday, January 18, 2015
Teacher Diaries: Homeschooler Returns
Just a short update! It's a bright sunny morning outside and it's only 10:35 and already 50 degrees. Feels like spring.
On Thursday night, it snowed--big fluffy flakes half the size of my palm--and the roads froze and we had a snow day all day Friday. So by the time Martin Luther King Jr. Day is done, I'll have had a four-day weekend.
I love Tennessee. I love the South. Especially in January and February. :)
This coming week, probably Wednesday, I'll start teaching. Last week I observed a lot, did mini-teaching with small groups, and enjoyed my snow day Friday. This week, I will start actually teaching! Since our particular classroom only teaches reading, writing, and math (the students rotate to other teachers for science and social studies), I won't have quite so much to prepare--on the other hand, fifth-grade math is a lot of fractions. And I've never liked fractions, so I'm refreshing my memory! :)
Startled my poor mentor teacher on Thursday because she asked where I went to school. And when asked a point-blank question like that, there's only really one thing to say. . . so I told her I was home-schooled. Let's just say I don't think she was expecting that answer! ;) However, apparently she's decided I'm still not too scary, since we are planning for me to probably take the grammar lesson and at least some math lessons this coming week! We'll see how it goes!
On Thursday night, it snowed--big fluffy flakes half the size of my palm--and the roads froze and we had a snow day all day Friday. So by the time Martin Luther King Jr. Day is done, I'll have had a four-day weekend.
I love Tennessee. I love the South. Especially in January and February. :)
This coming week, probably Wednesday, I'll start teaching. Last week I observed a lot, did mini-teaching with small groups, and enjoyed my snow day Friday. This week, I will start actually teaching! Since our particular classroom only teaches reading, writing, and math (the students rotate to other teachers for science and social studies), I won't have quite so much to prepare--on the other hand, fifth-grade math is a lot of fractions. And I've never liked fractions, so I'm refreshing my memory! :)
Startled my poor mentor teacher on Thursday because she asked where I went to school. And when asked a point-blank question like that, there's only really one thing to say. . . so I told her I was home-schooled. Let's just say I don't think she was expecting that answer! ;) However, apparently she's decided I'm still not too scary, since we are planning for me to probably take the grammar lesson and at least some math lessons this coming week! We'll see how it goes!
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Teacher Diaries: Preparing for Student Teaching!
First: FINALS ARE DONE!!! My last undergraduate finals ever!!
Okay, on to the next thing: Those who know me, know that, especially when I'm nervous or stressed, I can be obsessively organized and almost never too prepared. Mind you, these aren't inborn traits--they were faithfully taught me by my mother (doesn't it always seem to go that way?) over many, many, MANY years--or at least 20-something! ;)
Anyways, I have this problem, because I deal with life by organizing everything super-obsessively. Now maybe this is good, maybe it's bad; but that's how I've survived college so it works! However, this big thing is coming down the road:
STUDENT TEACHING.
And nowhere can I find any good resource for organizing one's life during student teaching! The main theme seems to be "just survive." Which is good, but...it lacks in detail somewhat...
So I'm going to adapt some teacher organization ideas and create an organizing thing (or more than one...). And hopefully post some of it here for the benefit of any poor student teacher out there who stumbles across this part of the world. :) Also going to post some of the more odd/probably-unique-only-to-me things that I'm doing--because I'm hoping to use student teaching as a practice time to figure out how to do this next semester in real life!
Stay tuned! :)
Okay, on to the next thing: Those who know me, know that, especially when I'm nervous or stressed, I can be obsessively organized and almost never too prepared. Mind you, these aren't inborn traits--they were faithfully taught me by my mother (doesn't it always seem to go that way?) over many, many, MANY years--or at least 20-something! ;)
Anyways, I have this problem, because I deal with life by organizing everything super-obsessively. Now maybe this is good, maybe it's bad; but that's how I've survived college so it works! However, this big thing is coming down the road:
STUDENT TEACHING.
And nowhere can I find any good resource for organizing one's life during student teaching! The main theme seems to be "just survive." Which is good, but...it lacks in detail somewhat...
So I'm going to adapt some teacher organization ideas and create an organizing thing (or more than one...). And hopefully post some of it here for the benefit of any poor student teacher out there who stumbles across this part of the world. :) Also going to post some of the more odd/probably-unique-only-to-me things that I'm doing--because I'm hoping to use student teaching as a practice time to figure out how to do this next semester in real life!
Stay tuned! :)
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
[Pre-] Teacher Diaries: Approaching the End!
This week at work the schedule for Winter semester is up.
We always fill out any time we can work and then someone puts all the options together, sort of like a giant jigsaw puzzle, so all of us office assistants get times we can work and a total number of hours that works for us.
But this time, my name's not on that paper. I'm going to be student teaching, and since I can afford not to work during student teaching (due to lots of saving and lots of scholarships--a big blessing!), I won't be working next semester.
Going to feel weird. I've worked every semester, even methods block. The past couple years, I've been working 15-16 hours a week. I wrote down that I will be back in May, just to make myself feel better. ;)
We have to apply for admission to student teaching, too. I've turned in everything and my interview is this evening. I'm still waitingimpatiently for a grade on my portfolio (it should have been graded last Sunday!), but at least they haven't sent it back to me for revisions, so I'm assuming it passed in some way or other. :)
A week and a half and Thanksgiving, then two weeks and finals, and then Christmas break. And then student teaching. And resumes, job interviews, and hopefully, finally, a job.
Scared, and excited, and can't wait!
We always fill out any time we can work and then someone puts all the options together, sort of like a giant jigsaw puzzle, so all of us office assistants get times we can work and a total number of hours that works for us.
But this time, my name's not on that paper. I'm going to be student teaching, and since I can afford not to work during student teaching (due to lots of saving and lots of scholarships--a big blessing!), I won't be working next semester.
Going to feel weird. I've worked every semester, even methods block. The past couple years, I've been working 15-16 hours a week. I wrote down that I will be back in May, just to make myself feel better. ;)
We have to apply for admission to student teaching, too. I've turned in everything and my interview is this evening. I'm still waiting
A week and a half and Thanksgiving, then two weeks and finals, and then Christmas break. And then student teaching. And resumes, job interviews, and hopefully, finally, a job.
Scared, and excited, and can't wait!
Friday, October 24, 2014
Thoughts on Teaching
...For some reason the video won't move to the bottom, where I want it. So anyways. It's a good song, listen to it. ;)
This week have been thinking about teaching. And teachers. Especially those of us who are young Christian teachers just getting out of school--but also older teachers. . .
We have a great Christian educational system here in the States. Trained teachers, (generally) supportive parents, good kids, good resources--we update our resources and textbooks and everything and it's just great. Kids can go to Pre-K through college in Christian education; it costs a LOT but you can do it. And of course then there is our favorite homeschooling, which I still entirely consider Christian education!
And just FYI please, please do NOT consider the following to be down-playing those who are SM's or career missionaries teaching without a teaching licensure or training. I admire you all like you cannot know and I pray for you all. I can't imagine doing what you're doing. God bless you!!
But, for teachers: Why are we not taking our training and what we know, and stretching it a little, and taking it outside our familiar comfort zone? Why do children in Christian schools in another country not get our long-term skills and our practice and even our resources? Think about it. If our students here had to deal with half the things students in other countries do--and I'm not even talking about physically or environmentally--we'd have parents at our throats 24/7. Just something to consider. Consider and pray about.
All of which is just to say that if you find me in Zimbabwe next year, you'll know why. . .
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Really Live
 |
| Alaska's a good place to really live. ;) |
I'm continually amazed (and shocked) by how infrequently kids are really living their lives richly and joyfully. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since I guess it's rather infrequent that adults live life richly . . . but really. Why is it any sort of funny/pleasant/positive thing for you to tell me that you sleep all day on the weekend, because your mom's watching TV and you don't want to watch the shows she does? Why?
I have a professor (we will call her Dr. B; any of my Ed. major friends will know who it is ;) ) who teaches most of our reading/literacy classes. She is always emphasizing that we as teachers need to live as readers and writers if we ever expect our students to become enthusiastic and good readers and writers.
I think she's right. But not to just live as readers, or as writers--we need to live as whole people. As writers, and readers, and mathematicians, and scientists. As musicians and artists and athletes. As hikers, runners, ornithologists, mountain climbers . . . whatever you are, do it. Do it wholeheartedly and with love and passion.
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| "Live to the hilt every situation you know to be the will of God." |
And if it's contagious in things of hobbies, so much more so in things of God. I believe a lot of kids brought up in Christian families and Christian schools leave because they see adults who "have" to teach or live a certain way. Not those who are really living it. How can we--how can I--live wholeheartedly and completely for God?
Friday, October 10, 2014
[Pre-] Teacher Diaries: Last Classroom Semester
So wow, this semester has been full.
Plato, Aristotle, Locke, Rousseau, Dewey. Education. Papers. Huge tests that praise God, I did a lot better on than I expected!
Research projects, in the classroom. Fifth-grade classroom. So. much. paperwork. All my placements this semester, except P.E., are in fifth grade--ha!
Reading assessments. So. Many. reading assessments! Classroom observations, anecdotal notes, now two kids to tutor. One is probably the lowest reading level in her class; the other is probably the most disengaged. This is going to be fun!
P.E. classes, fitness activities, games, teaching kids how to hop. Do we really have to teach kids how to hop these days?! What has the world come to?!
Twelve-page World Religions papers, studying all kinds of religions. Grateful for a Christian perspective. Wondering where God's call will lead, later on. . .
Flying paper planes with little boys at work (no it's not part of my "normal" work, but hey, you do what you gotta do!). Chats with wise friends about student missions and what-after-college and all those things good seniors talk about. ;)
Now a very full weekend with GYC-SE meetings and Sunday convocation and school Apple Festival. The race never ends. . . on the other hand, I tell myself it is good preparation for working in a small school later on. :)
Plato, Aristotle, Locke, Rousseau, Dewey. Education. Papers. Huge tests that praise God, I did a lot better on than I expected!
Research projects, in the classroom. Fifth-grade classroom. So. much. paperwork. All my placements this semester, except P.E., are in fifth grade--ha!
Reading assessments. So. Many. reading assessments! Classroom observations, anecdotal notes, now two kids to tutor. One is probably the lowest reading level in her class; the other is probably the most disengaged. This is going to be fun!
P.E. classes, fitness activities, games, teaching kids how to hop. Do we really have to teach kids how to hop these days?! What has the world come to?!
Twelve-page World Religions papers, studying all kinds of religions. Grateful for a Christian perspective. Wondering where God's call will lead, later on. . .
Flying paper planes with little boys at work (no it's not part of my "normal" work, but hey, you do what you gotta do!). Chats with wise friends about student missions and what-after-college and all those things good seniors talk about. ;)
Now a very full weekend with GYC-SE meetings and Sunday convocation and school Apple Festival. The race never ends. . . on the other hand, I tell myself it is good preparation for working in a small school later on. :)
Friday, July 18, 2014
Little Girl With the Sticker
I don't know how old she was. I don't even remember her name. And I haven't seen her since that day six (or was it seven?) years ago. Probably won't see her ever again.
I do remember her shy smile, her tangled-almost-matted hair, and the sticker on the middle of her forehead.
I remember how she tagged after me, borrowed my camera, sat beside me, squeezed behind me to throw little arms around my neck, begged to have her picture taken, asked me to sit in the shade with her and take pictures.
I said, "Later."
Because I was fifteen years old and my "best" friend, G, had a bigger following of girls at the school in Belize and I wanted to be with G and I wanted to have all the girls follow me like she did and I didn't have that much time for one little girl who just wanted to sit in the shade and take pictures.
At least I did invite her to play with us.
She did for a little bit but the other kids pushed her back and she went away and sat in the shade and watched. We played all kinds of games and she watched. I fell and wrenched my knee hard but I got up and kept playing because you know, that's who I was.
And then I said goodbye and she gave me a hug and went and sat in the shade and watched me go away. And I didn't come back because on the goodbye day I'd finally gotten to work with the guy I had a crush on and no, they didn't really need me on the job, but I sure wasn't going to leave, just to say goodbye to just one little girl who wanted to sit in the shade and take pictures.
"That little girl with the sticker?" said G later, "I think she's kinda left out. I think they pick on her a bit."
And I didn't say much but a bit of guilt pricked at my stomach and maybe my knee ached a bit more. Maybe it still aches a bit.
So whenever that knee hurts I remember the little girl in the shade--so much like the bigger little girl who she wanted to sit with--and I remember to make time to sit with the little girls and the little boys and the bigger girls and boys who are still little inside. To make time to take pictures and give hugs and jump rope and twirl them around in the air, to lock eyes with them and tell them I love you. And so does He. To make time to make a big deal about a sentence or a crayon scribble or a math problem donebadly beautifully.
And someday if I ever find that little girl again, I'll squeeze her tight and hand her my camera. And we'll just sit in the shade and take pictures. Maybe all day.
I do remember her shy smile, her tangled-almost-matted hair, and the sticker on the middle of her forehead.
I remember how she tagged after me, borrowed my camera, sat beside me, squeezed behind me to throw little arms around my neck, begged to have her picture taken, asked me to sit in the shade with her and take pictures.
I said, "Later."
Because I was fifteen years old and my "best" friend, G, had a bigger following of girls at the school in Belize and I wanted to be with G and I wanted to have all the girls follow me like she did and I didn't have that much time for one little girl who just wanted to sit in the shade and take pictures.
At least I did invite her to play with us.
She did for a little bit but the other kids pushed her back and she went away and sat in the shade and watched. We played all kinds of games and she watched. I fell and wrenched my knee hard but I got up and kept playing because you know, that's who I was.
And then I said goodbye and she gave me a hug and went and sat in the shade and watched me go away. And I didn't come back because on the goodbye day I'd finally gotten to work with the guy I had a crush on and no, they didn't really need me on the job, but I sure wasn't going to leave, just to say goodbye to just one little girl who wanted to sit in the shade and take pictures.
"That little girl with the sticker?" said G later, "I think she's kinda left out. I think they pick on her a bit."
And I didn't say much but a bit of guilt pricked at my stomach and maybe my knee ached a bit more. Maybe it still aches a bit.
So whenever that knee hurts I remember the little girl in the shade--so much like the bigger little girl who she wanted to sit with--and I remember to make time to sit with the little girls and the little boys and the bigger girls and boys who are still little inside. To make time to take pictures and give hugs and jump rope and twirl them around in the air, to lock eyes with them and tell them I love you. And so does He. To make time to make a big deal about a sentence or a crayon scribble or a math problem done
And someday if I ever find that little girl again, I'll squeeze her tight and hand her my camera. And we'll just sit in the shade and take pictures. Maybe all day.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Returned
Just a quick post to say I am still alive, the kiddos didn't eat me! :)
Really it was an amazing experience, totally confirmed my call to kids' ministry. God has given me the biggest passion for the salvation of HIS children, it's amazing. Love it. They're exhausting and wearing and teaching and working with them takes every bit of me and then some, but He came through and is still coming through every time. I can't wait to see where He's going to put me!
This summer is going to be fairly relaxed, at least on paper it looks like that. I'm taking my Praxis exams (teacher professional exams) in less than a month, and then I have the rest of the time to work in the office, read, write, and enjoy my last summer as a college student. Praying about opportunities for ministry throughout the summer, though. I don't want to stop just because there aren't continued opportunities through the college!
Anyway, hopefully I will have more time and more coherent thoughts to blog about over the summer. We will see. :)
Really it was an amazing experience, totally confirmed my call to kids' ministry. God has given me the biggest passion for the salvation of HIS children, it's amazing. Love it. They're exhausting and wearing and teaching and working with them takes every bit of me and then some, but He came through and is still coming through every time. I can't wait to see where He's going to put me!
This summer is going to be fairly relaxed, at least on paper it looks like that. I'm taking my Praxis exams (teacher professional exams) in less than a month, and then I have the rest of the time to work in the office, read, write, and enjoy my last summer as a college student. Praying about opportunities for ministry throughout the summer, though. I don't want to stop just because there aren't continued opportunities through the college!
Anyway, hopefully I will have more time and more coherent thoughts to blog about over the summer. We will see. :)
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Teacher Diaries: Starts Tomorrow!
Tomorrow is our first day of intensives! It's supposed to be super rainy and windy so please pray we don't blow/wash away on our way down there!
Nervous, but can't wait to meet the kids and get started--at least it's not our first time at this school, or in longer-term placements. It will be my first long-term time in a multi-grade placement since freshman year (and freshman year was 2nd-8th grade), so that will be interesting. One step closer to where I really believe God's calling me--hopefully it'll confirm that even more. :) One way or another, He continues to guide. :)
Nervous, but can't wait to meet the kids and get started--at least it's not our first time at this school, or in longer-term placements. It will be my first long-term time in a multi-grade placement since freshman year (and freshman year was 2nd-8th grade), so that will be interesting. One step closer to where I really believe God's calling me--hopefully it'll confirm that even more. :) One way or another, He continues to guide. :)
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Teacher Diaries: Countdown
So. Six days from today I'll be starting long-term intensive placements!
Intensives is a three-week period during the infamous "Methods Block" in which all of us elementary majors spend all day, four days a week (Fridays are debrief day), in pairs in K-4 classrooms. My friend S and I will be going downtown to a little multi-grade school in an urban area and spending the time in their grades 1-4 room!
I'm feeling super excited and encouraged as I have wanted to teach multi-grade for a long time and this will be my second long-term multi-grade placement! I am really feeling God's encouragement and leading in this and can't wait to see how it turns out! Hope to write down some of what happens so I can remember. Tomorrow is orientation day, so I'll probably be writing about that later. :)
Intensives is a three-week period during the infamous "Methods Block" in which all of us elementary majors spend all day, four days a week (Fridays are debrief day), in pairs in K-4 classrooms. My friend S and I will be going downtown to a little multi-grade school in an urban area and spending the time in their grades 1-4 room!
I'm feeling super excited and encouraged as I have wanted to teach multi-grade for a long time and this will be my second long-term multi-grade placement! I am really feeling God's encouragement and leading in this and can't wait to see how it turns out! Hope to write down some of what happens so I can remember. Tomorrow is orientation day, so I'll probably be writing about that later. :)
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Heart Changes
Last week we taught a lesson plan, two other classmates and I.
It was an awesome lesson plan, and it went near perfectly, but the big thing that really happened was that I realized something major, something I have been struggling with ever since I started the education program.
I AM called to kids.
I haven't been sure of that for three years--now, I am. And right now, those "kids" equal teaching. I am so grateful to know that. But someday? Well...
Tonight I am reading this article, and it was written two days ago and I haven't read it yet because too busy. Or maybe because God let me wait. Because I couldn't have read it at a better time. I'm trying not to cry.
I want that. I want those kids. I want overseas again. I love it--so much I love it.
I have no earthly idea how it will ever work out. I have big responsibilities here--I have a horse, for goodness' sakes--how am I ever going to get to Guatemala--or Peru--or Dominican Republic--or China--or Ireland--or Taiwan--or--
I don't know. But I know God's got a plan, and He's putting it back on my heart right now, and the best way to get me to do something for the long haul is to take me away from it a while and then head me back into it. I don't know if that's what He's doing right now, or if He's just trying to get my focus back where it needs to be here.
Heart changes are tough. But right now, it's also the proverbial cold water on a hot day.
It was an awesome lesson plan, and it went near perfectly, but the big thing that really happened was that I realized something major, something I have been struggling with ever since I started the education program.
I AM called to kids.
I haven't been sure of that for three years--now, I am. And right now, those "kids" equal teaching. I am so grateful to know that. But someday? Well...
Tonight I am reading this article, and it was written two days ago and I haven't read it yet because too busy. Or maybe because God let me wait. Because I couldn't have read it at a better time. I'm trying not to cry.
I want that. I want those kids. I want overseas again. I love it--so much I love it.
I have no earthly idea how it will ever work out. I have big responsibilities here--I have a horse, for goodness' sakes--how am I ever going to get to Guatemala--or Peru--or Dominican Republic--or China--or Ireland--or Taiwan--or--
I don't know. But I know God's got a plan, and He's putting it back on my heart right now, and the best way to get me to do something for the long haul is to take me away from it a while and then head me back into it. I don't know if that's what He's doing right now, or if He's just trying to get my focus back where it needs to be here.
Heart changes are tough. But right now, it's also the proverbial cold water on a hot day.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Life
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| One of the "altars" my little guys and I made today |
And we finished our longer-term placement at an urban school this morning. I will miss my little 4th- and 5th-grade guys, but so glad to be done with planning! :)
April our Environmental Education class is going to lead a three-day outdoor field school in Smoky Mountain National Park for home-schooling families. I'm excited! Have volunteered to help my professor work with said home-schoolers (lol), in case he wants it, and it seems he does! So I had better get my thinking cap on as to ideas of things to do. On the trip itself, a friend and I will be in charge of creating, implementing, and leading all the activities for the pre-K-to-first-graders and their associated parents. I'm sure it will a great time.
But this week is the end of our field experiences this semester except for that field school.
Next semester I have three classes with field experience. At least one of them has a scheduled time to meet, two hours a week Friday morning. Sigh...it's all good but kind of like nursing clinicals, it plays havoc with work schedules and the like. Especially when one is trying to work three jobs.
A month from next week is finals. Doesn't seem like it should be here yet! Doesn't help that it's still frigid cold half the time, so it doesn't feel like summer's coming at all!
More thoughtful post coming, maybe about Facebook, yoga, the Bible, and getting up early. (Good enough teaser there? Don't start freaking out yet...I'm not joining any Eastern religious practices!) Today I just thought I would post about life sometimes, as it happens too. :)
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Bible Teacher!
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| Detailed lesson plans. You'll never use them in real life...but you've still got to make one every time you teach in field experience, just on general principles. |
Hi, my name is Miss Briana.
This is my friend Miss T___.
How many of you can remember a time when God protected you?
Oh dear God, help me, I'm a teacher! A BIBLE teacher!
Not really, not yet. Just field experience. Every single class in the Elementary Education program here requires you to have so many hours of experience observing and teaching in a real-life classroom. But it's still scary every time. And to start with Bible class?!!
I have skipped a whole morning of intensive Bible-study "boot camp" weekend seminars to take a mental break and then finish this Bible lesson for the third-graders I'll be meeting tomorrow morning. It's scary I tell you.
Bible class? Okay forgive me, I was home-schooled. We never had Bible class. We had family worship, but no class. Help me, Lord, I feel like I'm heading out to give Bible studies. I am heading out to give Bible studies. This could help make or break these kids' opinion of Christianity, of God. Bible class is the #1 scariest class for me in the whole curriculum. Who cares that it's not on TCAP or ITBS tests and I'll never teach it if I end up in a public school. It just is so...important.
So I pray. Sometimes, it can be good to be scared! :)
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