So after a lot of thinking and a lot of praying and after talking with friends and family, I have decided to unofficially put student missions next year "on hold." Things simply aren't working out--and usually because of factors I can't control: I'm not male, I'm not old enough yet, I haven't finished my degree, I'm not highly musical. These things I can't change, and I don't want to push through them if God's asking me to stay here. So I have prayed and told Him that if He wants me going somewhere next year, He will have to make it very clear; otherwise, I will stay here and begin looking for where I can live missionally here.
It's not so much a "why not?" as an "okay, so what next?" sort of thought. I would have loved to go back to Peru, but when that fell through, some of my enthusiasm waned a bit. So I'm not heartbroken. Plus I am certain that God has plans for me here: maybe He wants me working at this summer day camp I just found, cashiering at the Village Market (our little local grocery store), riding and showing horses over at Bayview (my beloved new stable), training the new dog we hope to get next weekend, helping Mom take care of our garden and put up all the fruit and veggies we hope to get this year, expanding our weekly Bible study . . . who knows? But honestly, I'm looking forward to where He leads this coming year!