If Truth Never Triumphed

There's been a shooting today, in the city I've known as home for the past eight years.

"Domestic terrorism"... "ISIS"..."violence"...

These words were never supposed to exist. Period.

We cry, "Why this little city? Why this little town? Why those children? Why these husbands? Those mothers?"

And we cannot know the answer. Because evil has no answer but the selfish core of selfishness. Evil is its own entity. And deep inside, the most hardened of us still know that it is a foreign entity. Evil is not supposed to be. 

This hatred of evil, this hatred of pain, this burning anger at things that are just wrong, this is one of the strongest indicators that we were made for another world.

But here, and now, truth, integrity, love...they battle today. And more often than not, they lose. In little ways, and in big.

Truth forever on the scaffold,
Wrong forever on the throne.

And so I have a question for you today--and a question for me. Why do we choose truth? Why do we choose integrity? Why do we choose love?

Do we choose it because we think life will be better when it triumphs?

What if it never overcame? (not, that is, that we could ever see...)

What if it never won? (not that our children, or great-great-great grandchildren, could ever enjoy...)

Would we still choose it now?

Wind

(Wyoming prairie)

Wind blows away
Here and there
Where it will
Rustles leaves
Whispers grass

And so am I
if I am walking
in the way
He's given me

I do not choose
I do not plan
I do not set the way
I simply go

Go gently
Go strongly
And maybe nobody ever knows
where I come from
where I'm going

Like the
wind blows.

"'The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes.  So is everyone who is born of the Spirit.'"  John 3:8

I Believe

High country in Colorado

I believe You are

And I believe You'll always be

I believe that when You call

You'll make a way for me

I remember, I look back

And what else can I see

You have always

Been there

So I believe.

Sometimes things just don't go as they should.  Or we can't even tell how they should be going.  What is God's plan, after all?  Does He have one?  Why would He ask me to go through what I'm going through?

It helps me, then, to remind myself of what He's done in the past.  To remember Who He is and what He's done for me, for my friends, even for people I've only heard of or read about. 

"Why are you cast down, O my soul?
         And why are you disquieted within me?
         Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
         For the help of His countenance.
        
 O my God, my soul is cast down within me;
         Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan"

(Psalm 42:5-6)

I like to go back to my favorite Bible verses during these times, reminding myself of what they mean and have meant to me in the past.  Sometimes some journal review is in order, too.  I have so many favorite texts; they're all underlined so I can find them when I need them. :)  Here is just one:

"You are my hiding place;

You shall preserve me from trouble;

You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.

'I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;

I will guide you with My eye."

(Psalm 32:7-8)

How do you remember what God has done for you?

Dreams

(sunset in Belize)

So today...something happened. Reminded me of a dream I have. Not the kind of dream that comes when you're asleep--the kind of dream that follows you around all day and chews at the back of your mind and bothers you like a bored puppy and makes you stare out the window when you're supposed to be writing (ah-hem, lol).

I'm not going to tell you all my dream--not yet, anyway. They say, after all, that wishes never come true if you tell them to anyone. ;) Don't fear, I shall shout it to the heavens if it ever comes true.

Or should I say when it comes true? Because I believe...always have believed, really...that God gives us dreams for a reason, and when He does, He'll make them come true. Maybe not right this minute, but at exactly the right time and in exactly the right way. Mind you, of course, I'm talking about dreams He gives--dreams that are in line with His word and aren't just passing fancies.

"Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart." (Ps. 37:3-4)

It's hard to wait sometimes. Sometimes it's harder than others; sometimes I think I'm not going to make the wait! But the clue is right there--"Delight yourself in the LORD"--and then--"He shall give you the desires of your heart."

SUNSET (by me)
He goes down softly
In rose and blue and gold
Clouds blaze white
One last time, then
He sinks in darkness bold

But wait—while sun
No longer blazes in his might
On this side of
The world; the moon
Plates the gardens in silver light

And sun will come again—
That’s the way it is, you
Know, with sun
And moon, and
With your best dreams too

Suns and dreams
May set for God to mold
But tomorrow
Rest assured they’ll be
Washed fiery as burnished gold

(dogwood flower in our yard)

So you know something? The past few months I have really been impressed with one thing especially.

I need to fall in love with Jesus.

More. A lot more. A whole lot, lot, LOT more. I don't think I can ever be "enough" in love with Him. Especially right now.

It's hard to focus sometimes. Especially when I'm at work...or at home and everyone is talking about other things and sometimes those things aren't very positive...they need to be talked about but sometimes it gets me down. I need His help.

This is my prayer lately...it's an old poem of mine but it applies so well...

WINGS
Soaring above there’s a swallow
Little bird but far above
The raging of this storm
It flits on wings
Aloft

Wild simple beauty
Flying up there
It needs no song or words
To make me want to
Soar.

Lord lift me up on eagles’ wings
Hold me in the breath of dawn
Send me through stellar
Galaxies till
I’ve caught the slightest glimpse of
You.

Then help me show
What You are like
Shine through me, illumine please
Each corner of my new-found
Heart!

Tuesday Thoughts

(Grand Canyon sunset)

So I'm sleepy and therefore prone to random wanderings. Should I apologize? Maybe. Am I going to? Not really. And if you want something "deep," I have it ready but haven't written it yet. In the next few days...depending on what happens...maybe. :)

Last Saturday night we had my last homeschool senior class social. In two and a half weeks we'll be graduating. I stood outside afterwards and thought about what a long time it's been since I graduated from eighth grade. Recently my parents have been asking--and I've been wondering too--did I do the right thing by homeschooling all the way through high school? It seemed to go quite well until about junior year, and then everything rather fell apart socially.

But you know what? I'd do it again.

Even knowing everything I know now.

No, I didn't have a group. Yes, I had to break two or three close friendships, and several not-so-close ones. It was hard. Very hard. But I met some of the most amazing people in the whole wide world. :) And I went on an amazing mission trip that ranks right up there with the amazing people when it comes to things I wouldn't give up! And I got so much closer to God. I don't think I would have nearly the passion I have now--don't think I'd be nearly so in love with God--if I hadn't had the experiences I've had the past few years.

DECISION (by me)
Once more I’m standing
By the water, but
Now those waves
Don’t call to me. Instead
I’m listening to a Voice
That has called me on before

I’m thinking back
to all the people
That I have heard of
and that I’ve seen
Who know no more
than what’s always been

And I’m thinking on
As sun sets and rises
and stars fill the sky
His call begins small
But grows ever stronger
Till I can’t deny

You made me
You taught me
And this is Your call
To leave what is safe
To leave what I know
And give You my all

It’s not going to be easy
And it’s not always fun
I know enough to know
that adventure’s retrospect
And trusting can mean heartache
There’ll be tears I know

But thinking back
And looking on
I can’t see
A better choice for them or me
His Call is now and I respond
Here I am
Lord send me