“It’s Pastor C,” Mom said, handing me the phone.
“Hi,” I answered the phone, happy to get a call from my youth pastor.
“Hey Briana...I’m wondering if you’d be willing to be in charge of the youth outreach group.”
“Sure!” I said. “Umm...I mean, I’ll have to pray about it. But I’ll let you know soon.”
We talked for a few more minutes about what this might mean before Pastor C hung up the phone and I danced into the kitchen to tell Mom what he’d asked me to do. She was supportive, but “pray about it,” she reminded me.
“Of course. I’m going to.” And I did. For at least two days I prayed every evening about it. I didn’t hear any voice from Heaven telling me not to go ahead with the idea, so I called Pastor C back and told him I’d lead the group.
Three months later, disillusioned, with only two or three members still coming and no plans for the future, we put the group “on hold” indefinitely. It still hasn’t restarted, two years afterwards.
What went wrong? I wonder. Why didn’t God continue to bless the group while I was in charge? Sure, I’m not the most dynamic of leaders, but He could have blessed anyway...right? He could’ve done big things through the group. Why didn’t He?
A quiet voice whispers in the back of my mind. What was your focus, Briana?
Hmmm. What was my focus? Did I really head into this because I felt God calling me there, or was I flattered by the offer and excited about what *I* could do with it? Tough questions. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. But I can be pretty sure that God wouldn't have let it fall through if He'd had something He could've done through it. And maybe it was mostly my fault. He could have done big things, but I had almost totally lost my focus on Him. I was focused on the "mission" and not on my God. And what is a mission without someone outside yourself to do the mission for?
Focus. Mission, yes, but mission focused on God. Otherwise, how am I any different from anyone else who just believes in doing the most good she can do before the end of her life?
Next Week: Mission Monday--We'll keep delving into this issue that seems to haunt me, my family, and other people I talk to. How do we make sure our focus stays on God, no matter what we may be doing for Him? "Mission Un-Focused, Part 2"!