Looking Up

My taking my Praxis (teacher professional) exams this summer has confused a lot of my non-teaching friends. We have to take and pass Praxis before our senior year; they assume I must be done if I'm taking professional exams. As a result, I'm getting asked one question a lot:

"Where are you going when you graduate?"

And where, indeed? There are any number of positions--this year, at least. I've already been all but formally invited to teach in three separate conferences. Then there are my friends overseas; at least two of them have also invited me to come, provided a place opens up.

So far I have one answer: "I don't know."

Followed by: "I'm praying God will make it very clear, 'cause I just want to go where He wants me to!"

A cop-out? Perhaps some would think so. I know some of my extended family is still hoping I will start making more concrete plans! But I see no other way. I went into teaching to be "on the ground" in mission work, and how can you be a missionary if you're not following where God leads?

I have a little mental image I use to remember how I'm choosing to go about life these days (I'm a very visual person!): I envision myself walking in the desert, my eyes upward and my hands raised and open--looking and waiting for God's leading, voice, and yes, His gifts too (he loves to give them!). Honestly? It's exciting. I can't wait to be able to look back and see exactly how He guided everything and fit everything together. It's going to be amazing!

I'll go where You want me to go, dear Lord,
O'er mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what You want me to say, dear Lord;
I'll be what You want me to be!

Thoughts: All Things

Smokies viburnum

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

Notice it doesn't say that all things are good.

It says all things work together for good. In the end, all will be right. In the meantime, things might be downright rough.




But God will use them all. He gives us all freedom to make foolish and sometimes outright stupid choices--then He weaves them all around to make a story so grand that we would never choose something else if we could truly see the whole picture.

That is amazing.

Just Shine

Image from Wikipedia

It's Thursday night, 8:00, and I am walking into the dusky woods behind my house with four intrepid friends. We all carry lights, but we don't turn them on. Slowly the leftover sunlight disappears. Slowly the night gets darker. The ravines turn black. The trail is felt rather than seen. Owls hoot in the distance.

And the fireflies come out.

At first I'm not sure what's causing it. I'm walking along the trail when suddenly a leaf on the ground lights up, neon-green. I dismiss it at first--until I see another. And another. And a log with two or three bright-glowing lights, like greenish flashlights in the now-dark woods. We all stop and we stare; these tiny bugs, as small as a pencil lead, are lighting up the entire forest. Catch a dozen, and you have a flashlight.

I'm thinking--what is bright is only seen in the darkness. Only in darkness. And you rarely see what's causing the light. I can't see the firefly, but I sure see the light it gives.

We are His lamps, to shine where He shall say;
And lamps are not for sunny rooms,
Or for the light of day,
But for dark places of the earth,
Where shame and wrong and crime have birth;
Or for the murky twilight gray,
Where wandering sheep have gone astray; 
Or where the lamp of faith grows dim,
And souls are groping after Him.
And so sometimes we find a flame,
Clear shining through the night--
So dark we cannot see the lamp, but only see the light.
May we so shine--His love the flame--
That men may glorify His name.
--R.J. Flint

Am I shining? If so, where? Am I trying to shine in a place that is completely irradiated with sunlight, where people can see me--or am I willing to go to the dark places, where they will see the Light in me...but probably never (I hope never) see me?